Being told your child has Down syndrome is nothing a mother EVER wants to hear. Especially a mother that is uneducated with the chromosome abnormality.
Remi is almost a year old and when I go back to that day I was told about her extra chromosome, tears slowly try to break through. Not from sadness but disappointment. Disappointment in myself for not understanding the true definition and disappointment in the pediatrician for allowing himself to say “I’m sorry”. He said it as if though my daughter had a deadly diagnoses. That she didn’t have a chance to live! I get angry at that phrase: I’m sorry….. If it were for me, I would go see that doctor just to politely punch him in the face. Nevertheless, I have to understand people like him. As much as I hate it, I have to deal with ignorance. Of course I changed doctors to a wonderful lady that adores Remi. All her doctors have a requirement to meet to be her doctor and I have come to understand that they are a great reason for Remi’s surprising accomplishments.
Ever sit there and just watched your child play with adornment? I’m sure most mothers have. I love to watch her every move. Not just because I love her entirely too much but because I love to see every LITTLE movement that brought her to reach those tiny milestones. The way she uses her little fingers to feel EVERYTHING to gain knowledge of that object. How she analyzes every toy and every object around her to figure out what to do. Even putting things in her mouth to help her understand what it is. To watch those small things turn into big accomplishments like, taking every ring off, one by one. Turning the pages of the book when that page has been read to the end. Trying not to knock down the tower I build for her but instead, taking it apart one by one. You see, I don’t pride myself for her newfound abilities. I don’t believe that because of me my daughter is showing off her brains. I’m proud of Remi because she is doing all of this by watching those around her. I believe EVERY child learns at their own pace and we just have to celebrate there accomplishments and not allow what they have yet to accomplish change how proud we are of our little ones. Remi still has to learn to crawl because she’s stubborn like her momma and she is determined to walk but its a skill she has to accomplish to be released from therapy. Of course there are times I feel like I let my daughter down because of that but I remind myself that she will do it when she wants to. Lord knows she has the strength to do it she just isn’t interested. I can kill myself trying to get her to do it but its up to her. I’m only here for support.
My favorite part is holding her on my hip because she is such a big girl next to her mommy and she thinks she knows exactly what she’s doing! I am deathly afraid of her first birthday. How can I tell myself that my baby is growing up?!