So Remi & I have been hard at work learning so many things. ( Crazy how we really don’t realize how so many skills have to be mastered for one big skill to be done) we have been working on sign language, reading, walking independently, talking, self feeding with utensils, pincer grasp, cruising, potty training, etc… It’s OVERWHELMING!!!
I’m sitting here thinking about watching my little sitter grow from the time she was born until now. We never once thought about how we could improve motor skills…. We would just say “it’ll come, it’ll happen” & yes it did. We didn’t worry about the little details. We just enjoyed her and played with her & we’d let her explore and learn things on her own.
I realize all this and I breakdown. How it was wonderful to not worry about it. With Remi, every moment she is awake, I take advantage of it and “play” with her. (& when I say “every moment” I mean it literally) except her play isn’t just play time. It’s more like therapy time. It’s learning new things time. Bettering a skill time. Figuring it out time. It becomes exhausting to me. During her sleep time, I either clean the house, prep or cook for dinner, or mostly I’m doing research online on the latest things for Down syndrome. Being a stay at home mom, you would think I would have at least a little bit of me time but I wish someone could do this for me for an entire day and realize how much energy it takes to be me right now! I stay up late at nights to finally have some me time. To catch up on shows & maybe some eyebrow tweezing. Haha! It’s so great that I force myself to stay awake until I just pass out!
I always question my strength as a mother but God made us mothers so ridiculously strong that even when we are so tired and worn down, we still have the strength to do anything that needs to be done for our kiddos! (Not to mention that I say Philippians 4:13 in my mind when I want to give up.)
Its such a tough road we are in. Teaching Remi these skills have tested me in so many ways, especially my sanity. It’s broken me down so many times but that little girl has my whole heart. I love her so much that it literally hurts! I will not give up on my little one because she has made me such a happy mommy! A proud one at that! Her hugs are what I look for everyday, especially her bright smile. Gosh, if I could only squeeze her forever, my life would be perfect!